Sing it to me Ozomatli...

Location: Parque Nacional Corcovado, Costa Rica

I want to preface this initial post by saying that anyone who has been eating eggs or any edible item without Lizano salsa que hecho en Costa Rica is making a grave error. Well, missing out anyway. My understanding at first was that this item could not be purchased in the States, but I was recently informed otherwise. If any of you find this beloved condiment back in the land of opportunity, PLEASE let me know so I don´t end up buying a whole new suitcase just to fill it to maximum capacity with Lizano.

Sooo... after spending nearly a month being professional beach bums (and yogis) at our friend´s Nicoya Peninsula paradise home, we decided to take a more adventurous route. First on the list: zipping through the Monteverde cloud forest canopy. Una palabra- increible. HOWEVER, as a fresh product of the Nature Conservancy I was naturally (no pun intended) skeptical of the true "eco" benefits from this supposedly "eco-friendly" enterprise that has become famous world wide. It has been claimed that these tree-top towers were installed to fend off deforestation and allow outsiders to learn about the cloud forest ecosystem, but that´s a load of bull. This operation´s sustainability is definitely questionable. Nonetheless it was amazing and I highly recommend it. Plus if you´re a white girl, you get a new Tico guy hitting on you at each platform - the platform count being 18. I felt special until I realized the 65 year-old woman in a 80´s sweat suit zipping behind me was gettin some lovin´too. Ah, there´s always the drunk, shirtless, toothless man standing outside the grocery store yelling "hey lady, lady, I talk to you, you guapa¨to fall back on.

Next up was the suicidal Corcovado National Park expedition. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We said, "we´re tough chicks, we can stand the heat." We didn´t even know what heat WAS until we got there. First of all, it was the most incredible place I have ever set foot in. It has 2.5% of the entire planet´s biodiversity concentrated in this one park and National Geographic dubbed it the "most ecologically intense place on earth." Not bad. I knew I had to check it out. Being the budget backpackers that we are, we opted out of the $17 per meal setup they have at our destination lodge, and decided to pack in ALL our food for the two days we would be there. Plus tons of water to survive the 7 hour, 20 kilometer trek per day, flashlights, crossword puzzle book (duh), small towel to dry off from our sub-zero shower, and the like. Let´s just say my back hurt after the 2nd hour.

What did help take my mind off the back pain (wow I sound like my granny) and sweltering heat, was the fact that we were in the most lush rainforest I could have imagined; the howler monkeys, scarlet macaws, some kind of crazy buzzing insect that I never learned the name of, and various other animals in concert with the sound of the ocean 50 feet to our left created a nature soundtrack straight off the Brookstone sleep machine.

Now, one thing they failed to mention until the last minute is that we were to cross this one particular river at low tide so that we would have FEWER, yes fewer, crocodiles and bull sharks to deal with. Apparently at high tide the ocean floods the river, inviting the crocs out and the bull sharks swim up to the mouth of the river to hang with the crocs, waiting for two white girls to cross - a snack to hold them over until dinner. I´m sorry what? I don´t do crocodiles. Or bull sharks for that matter. Thanks anyway. They also told us the wrong time to cross, which thankfully we figured out before entering the jungle.

Oh ya and they also failed to mention the puma attack two days prior. Awesome. Pumas, bull sharks, crocodiles, not to mention tarantulas, monkeys with rabies, leopards, and I mean who knows maybe there was even a mutant breed of tapir that grew wings that could pummel your face as it circled your head. We actually heard an unnerving statistic about the number of people who get killed by falling coconuts, which to us was of greater concern than the killer puma.

All death threats aside, we charged into the park with a fresh thirst for adventure that would be quenched in the first 10 minutes. A good part of the trek was on the beach itself. Black sand beaches, stretching for what seemed like miles, with blue-green ocean to the left, and the densely lush jungle to the right. If I hadn´t had sunscreen running into my eyes with a bug stuck in my eyelash I would have appreciated it a bit more quickly. And Dad, don´t worry, true to Longabaugh form I reapplied sunscreen every 7 kilometers or so....be proud. Which is why I look like I have been hiding under a rock for the past month and a half rather than spending it lying on the beach and hiking my butt off under the wrath of the tropical sun. I cannot say the same for Julia who now looks Ethiopian.

So we arrive at the ranger station where we made reservations to spend the night (that process is a whole other story in itself) sweating like no other and completely exhausted, only to be greeted by beds that smelled like urine with mosquito nets that had melon-sized holes, and no sheets or pillows. Super. We settled in, took an arctic shower, and decided to eat dinner. And by dinner I mean mashed up beans that you squeeze out of a pouch and canned tuna. While all the other rich tourists had their massive plates of chicken, rice, salad, potatoes, and wide selection of soda pop in their nice dining area for $17 a meal. Whatever, our dinner was delicious. At 8pm we made the educated decision to call it a night, go to sleep in our pee-scented beds, and get an early start in the morning to hike the 20 kilometers BACK. Geez. The thought of that kept me up during part of the night.

The next morning we were so beaten up from the hike in that we pretty much booked it down the trail and made it in 5 hours rather than 7 just so we could relax before the 2 hour ride in the back of the colectivo (a pick-up truck with wooden seats in the back that you get to share with old men who have bad B.O.). That was fine since I absolutely love old man B.O. We were so early for our taxi back that we kicked our feet back at a nearby eco-lodge and did crossword puzzles for three hours. It was maybe the best three hours of my life. I was so happy to have had this incredible experience and yet so glad it was over and we were now sitting in beach chairs over-looking the most pristine, untouched beach I have ever seen. No puma attacks, no crocodile wounds, and no missing limbs from a bull-shark. Although I did have some battle scars from a fall a took trying to leap onto a mossy rock. I don´t recommend doing that in case any of you had the desire to do some moss-rock jumping in your spare time. In fact I almost knocked out every one of my front teeth. That would have been an awesome post-fall picture had that actually taken place.

Well my fingers are about to fall off from all the typing between this lovely site, chatting, and the 6 billion emails I´ve completed today. I swear I´ve spent more time on the computer here than I ever did at home. Thanks for tuning in to my novel. There will be more to come and know that I miss you all!

Muchos besos y abrazos para todo!